I tried to do a quick check of my blog friends, and see what's up in the blogosphere...some sad things, some glad things, and I don't have time for linking or leaving comments...and now there's barely any time for an entry here. But I'm doin' good, huh? Two entries in two weeks?
Well, well, well. Bet y'all though I'd dropped off the face of the earth, eh? Ha! No such luck!
We are still in transitional housing, our lil' apartment, and still in Berkeley. Downtown, to be more specific, and I've never lived in a cooler neighborhood. Jayden's going to what is just about the best public school in town; we had an IEP last month and got my baby a KILLER education plan. No matter where we end up living (we can stay where we are until June '05) that plan follows him; all school districts have to meet everything outlined in the plan and if a district cannot provide it, they (and the county & state) by law have to pay for a private school that can meet his needs.
I really, really would like to stay in Berkeley, and keep him in this most excellent school, but it'll be nothing short of miraculous if we find housing here.
I haven't got much time to think about something to write. Or rather, think about how to write about the things I've been thinking. There isn't much time alotted to me here at the 'puter lab, and a lot of that time is used up clearing the spam out of my Yahoo account and learning Illustrator. But I did want to holler at my folx who left comments...it's so good to connect with y'all again, even if it's just a *wave* as we pass through...love y'all!
Yeah, no time at all. And there's been so much I missed in the past 7 months...damn! All the "bushit" going on and me without a 'puter. So much I've wanted to tell y'all about, to rant, or to rave, about.
Like, I discovered Anthony Hamilton, and I've been playing the hell out of his CD.
And I completely missed the Arnold fiasco.
Oh yeah, the election! There are some pretty angry commuters out there, bitchin & moaning to the TV & radio reporters about having to pay $3 to go over the bridges. I wonder how many of them voted?
I did some work for the measure A campaign, and I'm glad and relieved that it passed; thank you, Alameda county. It was also an excellent campaign run by Nate Miley's office; everyone involved did an incredible job getting the word out.
So Kerry will be running against Bush in November, and I hope to hell he can beat GW. I'll vote for Kerry then, of course. Tuesday, however, I voted for Rev. Sharpton. He's worth listening to, you know.
This morning, as on most mornings, we were driving to Jayden's school and he asked me to explain a news story. The story he was asking about was an on-the-street piece with San Franciscans discussing the goings-on at city hall over there. After we talked at length about the weddings, and why they're special, Jayden mulled it over for a while. Then he asked me, "Mommy...when a man and another man get married, do they look the same?" I said "do you mean, do they look the same as each other?" "Yeah", he said. So I went on about, well, they probably don't look a lot like each other; one might be tall, one might be fat...and he interrupted me with "No, no, Mommy, I mean do they both wear flowers in their jackets?"
And by the way, HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to Anna, Beth & the babies...I'm so happy for them!
*cheers* to any and all who got hitched on Valentines weekend!
Hello everyone, it's Starmama, back online for the first time in 6 months...I haven't had a chance to do anything but reactivate my yahoo mail and I hope to be able to check up on folx's websites over the next few weeks.
Jayden and I got into transitional housing, after 6 months and three shelters. We're in downtown Berkeley, we have our own lil' bitty apartment with a kitchen (gas stove! I'm cookin with gas, y'all!) and the hugest giganticest tub.
Jayden's doing so much better since we've been there (we moved in on the first of January). He's still got some way to go, but the best thing is that he's totally plugged in with all the help he needs. A bonus is that the person who does the education program for the agency that owns the building we live in works for Berkeley schools; she has many years experience in special ed; and we have a really good working relationship, and she's helping us with registration, IEP, etc.
I became officially retired in August; I now receive a check from SSDI each month. It's enough to live on, provided we have subsidized rent, like we do where we are now. Since being approved, I've paid off bills, contributed to Jayden's college fund, and put money in savings.
I have more time now; less stress (although that's not saying too much) and plenty of freedom. And I decided that when I get off of SSDI - because I won't stay on it forever, although I could - it will because I'm making money by making things.
Mostly what I've been making is jewelry. Beaded necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. I've gotten some really good feedback on my creations and I've sold a few pieces to friends. I'm looking into the best way to sell them - flea market, Telegraph Ave, there's lots of different things to think about with each option. But I'm gonna do it, and if I ever make money at it, I'll take my baby to Disneyland.
I'm not just making jewelry, either; I've been painting, sculpting, and making wire doodads.
I'll be damned if I sit at a desk for 9 hours a day, injure myself all over again, just to line some corporation's pockets. I will create, have time with Jayden, and be happy and at peace.
Dammit.
So, with that, I'ma go surf around & see what I've been missing. I've got access here at Berkeley Adult at least an hour a week, though, so I'll be updating y'all as often as I can.
Oh, I'm just shameful -- I've known this girl for over a decade -- I think longer, I met her through her brother when he was dating a girlfriend of mine from high school -- and I cannot tell you exactly how old she is today! She's my age, though, and I'm turning 36 in a few months, so...about there. I'll bet Danielle knows because she hasn't gone all senile like me. Anyway, it's her birthday. I'm gonna call her in a bit, I'm waiting because I know she's taking Jayden to school around now.
She came by to hang out a couple weeks ago -- she's doing pretty good. Her disability got reinstated and she got the back pay, too -- a very good thing, because the back money gave her enough to save for a deposit when she gets her housing placement. Last time I talked to her they were applying for a new transitional house that sounded really nice. She's been at a different place than she was last time she posted, and it sounds hard, there are a lot of rules and not a lot of privacy. The new place provides less of one and more of the other.
Jayden's doing well in school -- he's got the two, you know, the morning and the afternoon, and they're not at the same place; Mandy was having to drive him to one, go pick him up, drive him across town to the other, and go pick him up from *that* -- that car is literally saving her hours of travel time a day -- but he was going to be added to a shuttle program so she can skip the middle part. I didn't get to see him when she came over because he was at one or the other, but she says he's having a good time there.
Personally, I think her decision to hold off on putting him in grade school for another year was a great one; I remember from when my girl was that little, there were several kids who just were not ready, and a lot of the time it's not anything in particular; it's just not time yet for some of them. Some of them just aren't ready to sit still for a long time, and some of them are still waiting for some cognitive ability or other to kick in -- there are certain parts of the brain that often have developmental differences of 3-4 years, which is why you have some kids reading at 3 and some who don't start til they're seven, and it makes no difference in the long run because it's nothing to do with smart. Think of it like a growth spurt, some get it sooner, some get it later.
Waiting until they're ready really pays off when they go at the right time and *don't* get all frustrated and start hating school right off, especially with all that standardized testing they make *everyone* do now from the moment they set foot in the classroom. There's a boy at my girl's middle school; he turned 15 last year, at the end of seventh grade, and sure he's two years older than everyone but he's one of the best students and doing great socially. I'd never know he was older unless she'd told me, because it really fits for him. There are several kids who are the "right" age and it's pretty obvious they got pushed in a little early -- those ones aren't doing so well, have a hard time in class, have a really hard time behaving appropriately for middle school.
It's sad, because our society says, you're five so now you go to kindergarten, period, and a lot of parents buy into that. They don't think or know what it does to some kids and the long-term academic and social problems it can cause. I'm glad Mandy's not one of them. She's got a very bright boy who is at a school that is preparing him for the classroom and he'll go next year, when he's good and ready.
Mandy is...Mandy. She's keeping her head up and keeping her spirits up, which you already know about her, she's like that. She's really strong; I think if I was in her situation I'd sit around feeling sorry for myself, and she doesn't do that. When she was over, we did what we always do, which is sit around and talk about everything. What's going on with us, with our kids, with our friends, with our lives. Stuff we're going to make, she wants to get started on her zines, she's got several planned, and crafts -- we're *always* talking about that, we were looking through this papercrafts book I have and trying to pick one out to do next time she's over. There's a good chance we won't though, because we get caught up talking ;)
Anyway, it's her birthday today. If you want to send a a message, just leave a comment and I'll pass it along.
Once, and only once, in every person's life, they are entitled to receive homeless benefits from Social Services, in the form of cash to pay for a motel room. The amount they provide is $640, which is enough for 16 nights in a room that costs $40 per night.
You can imagine what a forty dollar room, in Oakland, is like. Crackheads, prostitutes, drug dealing, folx with a slippery grip on reality.
I took the first check, and it paid for 6 nights at $50 per night, in a motel a step up from the ones on, say, West Mac. There were still lowlifes there, they were just a little less blatant.
The second $320 check would have bought 6 more nights at the same motel. The one where the ice machine cost a quarter a cup, and you had to pay 35 cents for each phone call. What the fuck ever. I packed our stuff in the van, checked out of the motel, and me & my baby headed south.
We ended up in Santa Cruz, at a motel a block and a half from the Boardwalk. It had a queen size bed, a bathtub, a little refrigerator and a microwave. Jayden jumped on the bed about a million times, trying out tricks he'd seen trampoliners do on TV. He watched more Cartoon Network than any child should see, and ate more junk than I ever thought I'd give him.
We walked to the beach on Monday, and found seashells and got knocked on our asses by incoming tides. Tuesday, we went to the Boardwalk, and rode every ride Jayden was tall enough to get on. He overdosed on cotton candy and soda, ate half my pizza, and killed a buncha ghosts on that silly ride over next to the cave train. He splashed water on me during the log ride, and expertly smashed into every single person in the space-age bumper cars ride.
We got back to Oakland Tuesday night, got a pretty lil' motel room over by Laney College, and on Wednesday we were at Traveler's Aid bright & early. We got placed in a shelter, a really good one, I think, although I don't have anything to compare it to. I went into the shelter situation with a clear, relaxed and rested mind; our escape had done me good.
I guess social services would've rather had Jayden at a crackhead motel for two weeks. Fuck 'em. We lived it up & my baby's still talking about the fun he had, so *blllpppphhhhttt* raspberries to 'em.
We've been in the shelter for a month today, and things are going well; it's difficult living under someone else's rules, and living in close quarters with other folx after being on my own for hella years; but we're adjusting, and it's a completely kid-centric place, and Jayden's still going to his awesome school, and Rooney, my van, is running great (he got new tires & brakes before our S'Cruz jaunt), and income/housing/health issues are all moving forward.
It's going good, and it'll be even greater later. Love y'all.
For you folks thinking about her and wondering: my girl was on a field trip and ran into Starmama and Jayden down at the boardwalk the other day and passes on the message that they were playing hooky from preschool to enjoy the sunny day and are doing okay.
And if anyone happens to talk to Starmama, tell her:
1. Get in touch with me, call, drop by whenever, whatever, cos I miss her; and
2. Our super-nice host (that would be Continuity, if you're looking for good, low-price web hosting or IT service in the greater Manhattan area, they're the ones to call) set up a fresh mailbox for her since I was whining that the stuff I was sending to her yahoo e-mail is bouncing because the box is full. You know how much spam you get on those public accounts. Anyway. I have a login and all that for her. If you want to send her a non-bouncing email use starmama azat ofrenda dizzot org.
xo
-g.
p.s. Danielle, if you see this, email me cos I can't find your address and I can send the email login stuff to you in case M. doesn't catch me before we head north on the 18th for the rest of the month...
The van is great, but hot. My neighbor hasn't found the chain drive thingy to fix the windows yet (he's looking in junkyards, since I ain't got the $$ for new parts), and the AC is running hot. But we're mobile, we've got room, and it runs great. It's also really, really comfortable, when it's not hot outside :)
See, she read some stuff I wrote, and I read some stuff she wrote, and we found out that we really dig each other. So when she read some other stuff I wrote, she was like, damn, that's pretty hard, I wish I could help this mama. And Ms Nakachi took it upon herself to do some fundraising.
She let folx know what was going on, and asked if anyone could do, please do, and I had no idea until I started getting emails from all these people who'd put money in our Paypal account. It's freekin amazing.
We got over six hundred dollars. I still don't believe that. I'd saved $200 already, and when I got my disability check I went & got me a car. Today.
(go ahead, stand up and cheer. I've been doing it every 15 minutes or so!)
It's not just a car, y'all. It's a van. Yep, a real mamamobile. It's a Plymouth Voyager, 1990, the door handle is broken and the electric windows ain't workin, a switch or something's messed up. My neighbor, dude that sold it to me, is putting the handle back on & he'll see if he can get the windows working tonight. Otherwise he'll do it tomorrow morning. The engine & tranny are good, the belts & timing & stuff is good, the outside trim's all peeling, it's beautiful.
I couldn't have done it without Nakachi's big ass heart, y'all. You have no idea how much love I got for her.
Thank you e'erybody, all of y'all.
Oh, and an especially huge thank you to Georgia for sending Jayden a whole slew o' Rescue Heroes. That was beyond awesome.
